You've got mail.

Last week I received an email entitled "Woohoo I've got an iPad". It was from my 77 year old mother :) It made me laugh because I knew she had serious iPad envy after playing with mine and her friend's. She had mentioned she would like to get one but first she had a couple of things to be getting on with - like a trip to China, England, France, Switzerland, Belgium and back to China and the rather inconvenient surgery for her cataract!

My Mum is pretty cool. She's not letting things slow her down. Rob dotes on her and the kids adore her and I admire her style! With the help of my father, she gave me and my siblings what others describe as a utopian childhood. We were well loved, well fed and well clothed. Sure there were things that I would've  liked them to have done differently but what child doesn't say that about their parents' methods?

Thinking back now things were pretty tough for my Mum, Dad had no idea about money so, she took sole responsibility for running the finances for a family of eight on a single income - creative accounting was often necessary! Two stand-out memories are: trying on a pair of skin-tight acid wash jeans that were ludicrously expensive and my mother announcing that they looked fantastic and I must have them; the other, in sharp contrast, is her saying how she longed for the day that when a bill arrived she could just pay it without having to wait for pay day.

My memories are not of fights and angry silences, they're of robust discussions and laughter and of a woman balancing my needs and desires (and that of my siblings) and doing it well. Mind you I have never understood why I would 'thank her later' for not allowing me to hang out at the Hume Cafe with my friends after school... my sisters still don't get that piece of parenting logic either.

My comfortable and cosseted childhood meant that I grew up expecting to offer my children the same thing. My life is very different to Mum's, I've always worked outside the home and that has meant my children have had different experiences. My parenting style is somewhat the same but also very different. But I think Rob and I have been mostly successful in building a modern utopia for our kids, they appear to be happy and well balanced. They were telling me, only yesterday, that they'd had to fill out a survey for RU OK Day and that neither of them had known what to put for the question about problems at home because they didn't have any. That made me smile.

So, why the reflection? I've recently been exposed to a woman who spends far too much time interfering in her daughter's life - she stalks her on facebook and then challenges her daughter about the posts, refuses to let her to go to sleep overs and has considered forcing her daughter to study German when she would prefer to choose dance. The girl is 14, Year 9 is but a moment in a whole life of experiences and surely if now isn't the time for dancing then when is? A little piece of my heart breaks for that child whenever I hear of her mother's latest antic. Helicopter parenting damages both parent and child.

Love your children the best way you know how, don't be afraid to say no but don't make it your default response. Say yes, it feels good and it's often the right answer. Let your kids take risks, be there to pick up the pieces. Don't feel you have to parent in the same way your parents did (good, bad or indifferent), chart your own course and create the life that suits you and your family.

When my kids ask if they can hang out with their friends at the various and malls and shopping centres, I say yes, even though my immediate reaction is a big loud NO, I figure that until they do something disgraceful or dangerous I have no basis for objection (the echo of my mother's voice in my head is not reason enough). Rob disagrees but because he never wants to hear the lament of the Hume Cafe again, he lets me have my way and I love him for that!

I know that I'm lucky to have happy, well adjusted, malleable kids but I'm also lucky to have a mum that, to this day, is someone I enjoy hanging out with. Even if she claims she has no idea why she refused to let me go to the Hume Cafe...

So, here's a LO celebrating my life and my kids (and Sparky) too. A photo taken by Rob on my Birthday. The LO is for Leah's wp word challenge - cuddles!

Thanks for stopping by, have a great weekend.

Off and racing

Scrapbooking Top 50's Amazing Race kicked off last week and it's been fast and furious since then. 

Stop 1 saw us scrapping Australia.

The criteria:
1. Use Aussie slang on your layout 
2. Include an Aussie image or an Aussie animal 
3. Use a border punch or scallops - to represent the large iconic structures 

Here's what I came up with, the title is Gone Walkabout. I used the Ah Scrap Aussie bottletop from my race kit and added a new MVB flag and ring as well as a little red Purple Pumpkin flower.

Then it was time for a quick detour! Using this criteria - before embarking on your first international flight, you need to make a detour to the post office to send a letter to your loved ones. It is a really windy day, and while trying to post your letter, it has blown out of your hand!  Scrap a layout or 3 card set with either a postage stamp, envelope or some hidden journalling to get your letter sent to your loved ones and get you back in the race.

I used all three criteria and even included a photo of Angus posting postcards whilst on our NZ holiday, at the beginning of the year. I've used some Rainbow Splendour felt chevrons and teeny Purple Pumpkin spotty button.

Stop 2 saw us jetting off to Asia and I touched down in Russia. After having a look around Red Square I focussed on the criteria:

1. A large title on the page
2. Use something long and horizontal on the page. Eg ribbon, paper strips, washi tape, twine etc 
3. Use something you would find in a garden or park

I love this photo of the kids and their NZ cousins - typical poses from all four. Zoe, oblivious to the world, Angus smiling straight at the camera, Finn, refusing to conform and Meg, styling a fake five year old smile while looking away! I used some Purple Pumpkin twine and one of their awesome new tree buttons and a fabbo Charm's page runner.

I've a had a truly horrendous week so it was nice to kick back and scrap. I've been turning the events of the week over in head trying to see if I can turn them into an amusing blog post but you know what, not even I can laugh at myself this time. *sigh* here's hoping for a better week this time around.

I really hope you are all ok :)

Creating for Charm

Back in July I was lucky enough to win a guest designer spot with Charm's Creations. I had a lovely time spending my voucher and creating these LOs using a couple of my favourite Charm's Creations.

My beautiful Sparky boy - the most spoilt and indulged member of the family!

A LO from Relay for Life. Me, my walking buddy and the girls from Zoe's team (the boys were obviously out of the track when these pics were taken).

Not sure they were ever featured on Charm's blog but I had fun creating them :)

Are you a master dabbler?

(if you're only interested in my scrappy shares scroll down a bit :-0).

The master dabbler is another theory we examined as part of the 7 Types of Busy Seminar. The theory as presented to the group is that when examining how people react to a task you will find that they fall broadly into two categories - a dabbler or a master.

The theory states that when you take on a new challenge you experience a period of rapid improvement but then as you become more proficient your achievement levels out and eventually plateaus. It is at this point that the differences in character emerge. If you're a dabbler you'll become bored of this level of consistency, abandon the task and move on to something new. The masters among us, will continue to pursue the task until their skill level begins to climb once more. There will be many plateaus along their journey but they will preserve and eventually make it to the top of the field in that chosen task. Imagine a staircase, that's how a Master's journey looks. The dabbler has jumped off the stairs after taking the first step!

But this theory troubled me and others in the group. Is it always wrong to be a dabbler? A good example is those of us who have tried many crafts. Did we really fail? Did we abandon our pursuit because we couldn't improve our skill level or were we just distracted by some thing bright and shiny and new?

And most importantly why do we have to press ourselves to become the best? If this is a hobby we enjoy then surely achieving at the dabbler status is mastery in itself. At this point the presenter offered us a third category, the obsessive. This is the person who refuses to believe they can't progress to a higher level and continues to do the same thing over and over, achieving the same result and never progressing to the level of master. Again this personality type raised questions among the group. No one wants to be an obsessive but some people are neither dabblers or masters.

I've been turning this theory over in head since the seminar and decided to do some more research on it. I'm glad I did. I discovered that there is a completely different school of thought out there about the third personality type. It's called the achiever, who like the obsessive pushes on out of stubborn determination, or love of the task, not necessarily with a clear plan but, who through sheer hard work slowly improves and continues on an upward journey of achievement.

I think many of fall into the category of achiever. It has a nice feel to it. Everyone loves the sense of achievement that comes from doing the best you can regardless of whether you are a master or not.

For me this is particularly true of my scrapbooking. Scrapping is something I love. I recognise that there are many truly talented scrappers out there whose artistry I can never hope to surpass but this knowledge doesn't cause me to down tools and move on to something new. I watch and learn from these clever women and apply my knowledge so that steadily over time I too achieve results.

I think the achiever personality type also supports my thoughts on winning and losing (as I talked about in my last post). Being an achiever is about being a winner - doing the best you can and being happy with the results.

I'm sure that there are other parts of life where I am more a dabbler (gardening and cooking) and still others where I take on the mindset of a master (professionally and perhaps towards health and fitness). I hope though, that, I never become an obsessive, I think that would be a very unhappy mindset don't you?

I was very interested to read your comments on my last post - thanks for taking the time to provide such considered responses, it was great to hear other points of view :) I'm looking to your thoughts on master dabblers too.

After I wrote my previous post I sat down to scrap and thoughts of how we approach life and the lessons we teach our children were still present in my head. I created this LO for the Top 50 quote challenge: "if life is a song, then love is the music". I paraphrased it slightly and used it as my journalling, I hope that my daughter will always remember to dance her way through life because then she really will win!

I also had a play with the Purple Pumpkin recipe challenge. I used a photo that shouts fun and reckless abandon - something we all need to practise regularly. The recipe called for paint, a button, doily, twine, misting ink, fussy cutting and two types of alphas. I was thrown for a moment as I'm not much of a fussy cutter but then that star caught my eye and I cut it out quick smart. I thought I was all finished and then realised I only had one type of alpha (the stamped word) so I added a little extra to my title and that was that :)

Thanks for stopping by, before you go, may I trouble you for a little advice? Should I demarcate my blog posts - have one for my social commentary and another for my scrappy shares? Or is it ok to combine the two, knowing that some people will skim over the stuff they're not interested in?

What's wrong with wanting to win?

I witnessed an interesting phenomenon this week.

On Saturday Angus' rugby team took to the pitch in a tightly contested game to secure a place in the grand final. Sadly Angus' team was not victorious and my boy was devastated. This photo says it all really.

As the captain, Angus felt responsible for the way his team played and this game marked the first time ever that he wouldn't play in a grand final. Tough times for a boy who takes sport very seriously.

But what really surprised me was people's reaction to the news of the loss. So many people said 'oh it's good to lose', 'a valuable lesson', 'best that he gets used to that feeling now', 'it's not good to win all the time' etc. But why? I didn't ever say that Angus was a bad loser or that he expected an easy win, or he didn't offer 110 percent? So, why is it a good thing that he lost?

If my daughter got less than 95 percent for an assessment piece would people utter the same pop psychology? No, I don't think so. She wants to be a vet and needs a near perfect year 12 score to achieve this goal. People seem to understand her need to excel academically.

But we all have our strengths and passions. We want to excel at those things, we want to win. And that is a good thing. Without drive and ambition we would be a very mediocre society.

I challenged many of the people who made these statements with the line 'but why is winning bad, I like to win, don't you?' and the reactions were astounding. The words they heard was that I was a sore loser, that I was sending a bad message to my children. How wrong could they be?

My message is simple, losing is part of life but we don't need to pretend to like the way it feels. Strive to win, to do your best, to give it your all. Learn from your losses, dust yourself off and start again, do it differently next time but whatever you do, don't let that loss dull your passion.

I'm very proud of my children and they way they approach their life goals. Irrespective of what those aspirations are, the message is the same 'be and do the best you can'. I strive to live by that same motto, to provide the best example I can, to live a happy and positive life - to be a winner.

And since I'm their biggest fan, it's no surprise that both challenges I completed at Wicked this month are of my kids :)

I'd be interested to hear what you think? Am I setting my kids up for failure? Or do you think it was my use of the word 'win' that caused such a negative reaction?

Have you joined the amazing race?

What's that you ask? Well, Scrapbooking Top 50 is running an amazing race - scrapbooking style. The fun starts on 1 September so there's still time to get your entry in.

I was also really lucky to win my race kit (in a random draw) and it's chock full of handmade goodies. Here it is - how good does it look?!

 I'm ready to race! Hope you can join me, see you at the finish line :)

7 types of busy

Over the last three weeks I've been attending a seminar series entitled 7 types of busy - it's all about the difference between being 'busy' and leading a 'full life'. It's been really interesting and useful and as a result, I've already made changes in the way I think about things and then do them. 

Today's seminar focussed on procrastination and interestingly, I discovered that I'm not much of a procrastinator after all! The presenter spoke about the lengths we go to just to avoid doing a disliked task or to deals we all do with ourselves just to get a task done and I was one of the few people in the room who couldn't relate. If I don't want to do something I simply don't. If I need to do something I just do it. Apparently this makes me a rebel, something my colleagues found very amusing but not surprising ;-)

One of the key tools to combat procrastination is to change the way you visualise an activity. I found this fascinating. Apparently it's really common to view things in a negative way, for example, when people think about exercising they mentally list all of the things they have to do before they can begin - find their gear, get changed, lock the house, go out in the cold/heat etc. And the sheer weight of this mental list is enough to stop them from beginning. This is not a concept I completely understand. But then I enjoy exercise and when I think about it, I'm keen to get going and do.  

So, it seems suitable then that my LO for Scrap the Girls is one of me just back from a run :) I love a good segue, don't you?!

Sure, the themes the seminar explores aren't rocket science but I've learnt things about myself and other people and it's been fun. If you'd like to read more about the 7 types of busy you can download a free eBook from Work Life Bliss. Check it out!

Oh, and just to reassure you, I have plenty of other bad habits even if procrastination isn't one of them :)